Thursday, July 25, 2013

Random Topic Thursday : Morbid Thoughts

Random Topics : Morbid Thoughts



Because I'm feeling stabby today here are some morbid thoughts. It's been a craptastic day in my world and strangely enough, these thoughts are cheering me up...

If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
(Money Back Guarantee for Zombies???)


Do they bury people with their braces on?
(They shouldn't. Family members could cash in on the scrap metal...just saying...)

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
(Right? The law should still apply?)


If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?
(Sometimes it's the medication that kills us)

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
(It's because God likes Sushi)


Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
(I'd have to say all religious idols apply)


Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
(And you wonder where those Mothers get ideas to harm their children...it's been there all along)


How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
(I say this all the time about women who get those ridiculous talon claw-length acrylic nails...how on earth can they wipe their butts with those things on? Same applies for Freddy Kruger...)


Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?
(I guess it depends on whose funeral you're attending. Some people just can't take a joke.)


Ahh, I feel better now. My day is a little poopish. Back to work. Later Suckers!!!!

Heart,
J

No comments:

Post a Comment