Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Why, Why, Why

I'm not a poet.


This is raw emotion in jacked up poetry form.


I call it Why, Why, Why




Why, Why, Why




Why? Why? Why? I shout.


What have you done?


What have I become?


You’ve taken a piece of me I may never get back.


 


I feel it. I feel my love slipping away.


A heartbeat fading,


Pulsing slower and slower until there’s nothing at all, but no,


No! I won’t let that happen.


 


I’ll stay strong.


I’ll move on.


 


No!


 


No, I won’t


I’ll stay


I’ll stay and endure.


 I’ll make the best of it.


 


I’ll be a part of it.


It’s a part of me after all.


Maybe I caused it.


I may be the reason it all occurred.


 


Was it my lack of beauty, of prowess, wisdom or charm?


 Was I not listening to the screams did they not send an alarm?


To my brain.


It wasn’t listening .


 


The cries of help,


Shouting


Why? Why? Why?


My own shouts were louder, blocking out any other cry.


 


It was only me.


My pain.


My suffering.


 I couldn’t hear anyone else.


 


Nothing else mattered but my pain.


How could you do this?


Do this to me!


I’ve done nothing wrong…but have I?


 


No, I’m the innocent.


 


The one who has been wronged.


For my shouts are louder. .


My pain is stronger,


Deeper than you will ever know.


 


But how could you know?


You can’t hear my shouts.


We’ve yet to let it all out.


 


My shouts are internal as are yours.


We plague ourselves with our own pain.


Dragging along our skeletons as a heavy burden to carry on our own.


 


Why? Why? Why?


 Why do we do this to ourselves?


Is it pride, embarrassment, shame, cowardice?


Maybe possibly it is.


 


It is all of those things.


 


Shouldn’t there be trust between us?


These emotions should flow free.


Why can’t I trust you?


Why can’t you trust me?


 


I don’t know.


I just don’t know.


 


Let your shouts out I beg!


Please let them out!


For I am dying to hear those drowned out shouts.


 


My shouts are still too loud.


I may need a fix.


To cancel out the sound and let something else in.


 


Wait! What is that?


A noise I do hear.


This sound that I hear is all torture and fear.


 


This can’t be.


My own pain is worse.


I can’t let it in.


My mind may combust.


 


There is too much upstairs.


No room for your fears.


My own screams creep back.


Licking up like rising flames.


 


There you are old friend.


I thought you went away,


But you are with me each and every day.


 


This is me now.


A fraction of my old self.


Of what I’ve become.


 


The rest has drifted away,


Tucked somewhere deep inside


Where all good things go to die.


Where I take my emotions and let them hide.


 


For I have job to do,


All my shouts have dwindled.


 


There is nothing left.


 


I’m a robot.


 


I carry on.


 


I feel nothing.


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Only 4 Days Left: Autographed Culture Shock GIVEAWAY!!!!



Goodreads Book Giveaway

Culture Shock by Jeanette Pekala

Culture Shock

by Jeanette Pekala

Giveaway ends October 11, 2014.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter to win

CULTURE SHOCK is a witty tale of mystery and romance with a large helping of southern hospitality.

Macy Holmes is a seventeen-year-old socially-isolated introvert since her best friend's death a year ago. When her family decides to move from Manhattan to the quaint country town of Bougainvillea, Florida, Macy finds she's in a completely different world. Macy is no longer the outsider hiding behind designer clothes when she is sought out by three strange students, one of whom she is particularly interested in. The more time she spends with Chad the more things don't add up. When his true identity is finally revealed, Macy is pulled into a supernatural society with its saturation of inhabitants residing in Bougainvillea.

You would think she has enough on her plate, but no, then her dreams become infiltrated by an external magical force, Macy and her band of supernatural misfits must find the culprit behind the magic-induced nightmares. They must dodge zombie assassins, shifty shape-shifters and high school bullies in order to stop this perpetrator before Macy, her friends or her parents pay the ultimate price. Especially when Macy has the sneaking suspicion that these dreams are reality...


About the Author

After finishing her degree in Sociology from the University of Florida, Jeanette Pekala had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.
While her husband was deployed overseas, she focused on what she loved to do, write, where she has finally found an outlet for her overactive imagination.
 She lives a not so normal life just a wee bit north of Bougainvillea where she resides with her husband and three children working on Shock Wave, book 2 in the Culture Shock Series.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

5 Reasons to NOT Move in with Someone

5 Reasons to NOT Move in with Someone

Random Topic Thursday

 
 

 
Reason #1
 
 
They have a room they've told you never to enter under any circumstances. Late in the night you think sometimes you hear screaming.
 
 
Reason #2
 
They have a list of names on the refrigerator. All those names are female and have a line drawn through them. That's when you realize they are his ex-girlfriends.
 
 
Reason #3
 
They have disembodied Barbie doll parts stuffed in the freezer in between the TV dinners. 
 
 
Reason #4
 
They have a row of prescription drugs in their medicine cabinet labeled by the days of the week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) next to a bottle of whiskey.
 
 
Reason #5
 
His movie collection consists of nothing but "Silence of the Lambs", "Saw" (the entire series), "Psycho", and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
 
 
After finishing her degree in Sociology from the University of Florida, Jeanette Pekala had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.

While her husband was deployed overseas, she focused on what she loved to do, write, where she has finally found an outlet for her overactive imagination.

 She lives a not so normal life that thrives on the macabre with her husband and three children working on Shock Wave, book 2 in the Culture Shock Series.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

5 Tips for Writers to Stay on Task

5 Tips for Writers to Stay on Task



I am the world's best procrastinator. If procrastination became an Olympic sport, I would be a world champion. A gold medalist. I'm also an individual that when focused (doesn't happen too often) can achieve anything in the most efficient and pleasant manner possible. I know what I want and what I love. I never steer clear of the course when I'm focused. I have 5 methods that help me stay on task. I use these methods in all platforms in life when I need motivation to get going.
Here's a quick list that I hope can shed some light on your focusing problems while writing the next big series.


Tip 1

Make it a Chore

I know that sounds as fun as sticking your head in a deep fryer, but it works. Here's an example from another area of my life. For the longest time (3 years...don't tell), I made excuses as to why I couldn't go to he gym: it's too expensive, I'm a busy mom that works full-time, it's out of the way, etc. This continued until I said, "screw it! I'm going to make time for the gym". I made a conscious effort to go on days when my hubby picked up the kids from school before I got home or I would go at night after the kiddos were in bed. It didn't matter if I was there a couple hours or a half an hour. It didn't matter if I pushed the limits of my workout or if it was a total slacker workout...the bottom line...I worked out. Same as writing. The bottom line...I wrote something. It doesn't matter how much or how great.

Tip 2

Make a List

I need to set deadlines for myself.  If I don't, I tend to procrastinate like crazy. Making a list of deadlines may work for you as well. I will finish (blank) chapters by (blank) date. Or after you've finished writing one day, take five minutes afterward to write up a to-do list of what to do on your next writing session. I need to research a swampy environment, what goes into pickling vegetables, work on character development for Suzie, and finish chapter 2.

Tip 3

Minimize Interruptions

A nice quiet room for writing is not for me, it actually distracts me more, but for some people, they prefer silence or solitude. Whatever works for you, but that isn't the only distraction. Since most writers use computers to type out their work, we get distracted much easier. The computer has the internet, thus giving us information at our fingertips. I sometimes start looking up the correct usage of a slang word, but end up on a celeb site looking up a movie by the same name. One way to avoid the runaway train of internet searching is to go into your computer's settings disable your access to the worldwide web. It's okay...you can do it (it's not permanent, I promise!)

Tip 4

Stick to a Routine

Routines. We have them for every day activities like getting ready for work. You have a sequence of events each morning that help you  get out the door on time. So why don't you apply this method to your writing? Here's my routine. I brew some coffee and pour myself a cup while my laptop fires up. I start my Skyrim Pandora station (awesome writing music). Then I pick my spot to write (outdoors if the weather is nice or on the couch in my favorite spot). I then lay my notes next to me, read the last paragraph I typed and away I go.

Tip 5

Hide all other Devices

I mean it! Hide your phone, your tablet, your kids (jk). Try to make sure all other media is away from you, i.e. TV and current novel. It should just be you, your laptop, and your words. The trifecta of authors everywhere.


Now I need to stop procrastinating by writing blog posts and get back to what I love to do...write fiction!

What are some of the tips that you use to stay on task while writing? Tell me what you do!






Jeanette Pekala is the author of Culture Shock and the soon-to-be-released Shock Wave.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

1 Year Anniversary Giveaway: 10 Winners of Culture Shock

1 Year Anniversary Giveaway: 10 Winners of Culture Shock


In honor of one year published and 5,000+ copies sold, I'm giving back. It's been a rough road--the first year--of trials and tribulations. Moments of joy and moments of frustration have led to the success Culture Shock has taken since being published a year ago.

With book 2, Shock Wave, on the rise to a published date, I can't help but feel giddy that many people having taken to loving the Culture Shock Series and begging me to finish book 2. All I can say is that it's coming.

In the meantime, enter this giveaway or tell a friend. Scroll down to enter!

 
CULTURE SHOCK is a witty tale of mystery and romance with a large helping of southern hospitality.

Macy Holmes is a seventeen-year-old socially-isolated introvert since her best friend's death a year ago. When her family decides to move from Manhattan to the quaint country town of Bougainvillea, Florida, Macy finds she's in a completely different world. Macy is no longer the outsider hiding behind designer clothes when she is sought out by three strange students, one of whom she is particularly interested in. The more time she spends with Chad the more things don't add up. When his true identity is finally revealed, Macy is pulled into a supernatural society with its saturation of inhabitants residing in Bougainvillea.

You would think she has enough on her plate, but no, then her dreams become infiltrated by an external magical force, Macy and her band of supernatural misfits must find the culprit behind the magic-induced nightmares. They must dodge zombie assassins, shifty shape-shifters and high school bullies in order to stop this perpetrator before Macy, her friends or her parents pay the ultimate price. Especially when Macy has the sneaking suspicion that these dreams are reality...
 
 
a Rafflecopter giveaway






 
Shock Wave
Seventeen-year-old, Macy Holmes thought she had it all. The boy of her dreams is hers, the meddling witches are locked up, and she finally has true friends. That all goes down the drain when Chad goes missing, the witches have escaped, and her friends aren’t accompanying her to the small beach community of Cedar Key where her parents have rented a house for the summer.
Max Forrester, regardless of being the world’s biggest flirt, never thought he would love again until he met Macy Holmes. He still holds a torch for her even though she quickly fell in love with his best friend. When Max is sent to look after Macy while in Cedar Key, he shares a dark secret with her. The secret binds them together. Will they develop a more romantic situation or will Max forever be in the friend boat?
When Macy is captured, she sees the world through Chad’s eyes. Will she like what she sees or will it leave her trembling in fear of the monster Chad is capable of being? She will have to make the choice of whether her love for Chad is strong enough to overlook the ghastly deeds he has done or if ever reliable fun-loving Max is the man for her.
What will Macy do when she doesn’t know whom to trust? Friends have become enemies and enemies, friends. The stakes are higher in this thrilling sequel of Culture Shock all the way to the bloody end.



Follow on the Fun



Email: jdpekala@gmail.com








Thursday, February 27, 2014

What Type of Books do You Read Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

What Type of Books do You Read Based on Your Zodiac Sign?


What's your sign? Mine is Sagittarius. I know what I like to read, so I wanted to see what experts of the zodiac would say about my reading choices. I pulled bits and pieces from parts of my research and jumbled them all up to make sense. These are the tidbits I found.

Let's  have a little fun and see if what they say matches what you like to read.

Aries

Aries are always too busy socializing to read much or prefer to not read at all, but if they did, they would read  "how to influence others" type of books, management, motivational


 Taurus

"How to manage your money" type of books, magazines like "Better Homes and Gardens"


 Gemini

Very clever reads or thrillers, a book frequented by book clubs. This sign seems to be quite the conversationalist and would want to be on the up and up about popular books.

 Cancer

Cook books and 'How to take care of your family and finances' or 'get rich quick' books


Leo

Definitely not interested in reading unless the book is about themselves, poetry, philosophy.

 Virgo

Anything analytical, heavy science books, books on health

Libra

History, maybe even historical romance

Scorpio

Murder mysteries, ghost stories.

 Sagittarius

Political, crime novels, spiritual

 Capricorns

Self-improvement books

 Aquarius

Will read just about anything and everything.

 Pisces

Philosophy books, Book of Quotes, Artsy books, Yoga  and Zen-like stuff.


Like I mentioned before, I'm a Sagittarius and I believe the experts are WRONG! I am probably the least political person you will find. I steer clear of all things politics. Crime novels are okay, but I definitely don't lean that way unless it comes REALLY VERY VERY HIGHLY recommended. Other than that...nope. Fantasy, romance, adventure, action, those are my types of books that I gravitate toward. It's silly because most Sags are very down to earth which I am in my real life, but not when I'm reading. That is my escape.

So what say you? Are the experts correct? Or are they batsh*t crazy? What's your sign and what do you like to read?

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

SHOCK WAVE by JEANETTE PEKALA to be released FALL 2015

SHOCK WAVE by JEANETTE PEKALA to be released FALL 2015


The much anticipated cover reveal and synopsis of the second book in the Culture Shock Series, Shock Wave.




Seventeen-year-old, Macy Holmes thought she had it all. The boy of her dreams is hers, the meddling witches are locked up, and she finally has true friends. That all goes down the drain when Chad goes missing, the witches have escaped, and her friends aren’t accompanying her to the small beach community of Cedar Key where her parents have rented a house for the summer.

Max Forrester, regardless of being the world’s biggest flirt, never thought he would love again until he met Macy Holmes. He still holds a torch for her even though she quickly fell in love with his best friend, Chad. When Max is sent to look after Macy while in Cedar Key, he shares a dark secret with her. The secret binds them together. Will they develop a more romantic situation or will Max forever be in the friend boat?

When Macy is captured, she sees the world through Chad’s eyes. Will she like what she sees or will it leave her trembling in fear of the monster Chad is capable of being? She will have to make the choice of whether her love for Chad is strong enough to overlook the ghastly deeds he has done or if ever reliable fun-loving Max is the man for her.

What will Macy do when she doesn’t know whom to trust? Friends have become enemies and enemies, friends. The stakes are higher in this thrilling sequel of Culture Shock all the way to the bloody end.